the crucifixion

9 years ago, i went from being a "Christian" to having a personal relationship with Christ. he'd ask for my time, money, talents, everything and I'd give him a tiny bit. then he asked me to go to africa where i had to give him everything and everyone. it was in this giving all that i found the deepest intimacy with him and the greatest joy. he became everything to me. then in this last year he has completely wrecked me for his kingdom. I was this pottery and I was completely shattered in Swaziland and He began to put the pieces as he wanted them.i can never go back to who i was. he asked me while i was in africa these 2 questions: 1)"are you ready to give full control to me" and 2)"are you ready to give up everything that makes you becca". i've never been the same since i said yes. it's no longer about becca or what becca wants it's about Christ and His kingdom.I've never experienced freedom like this before. thoughts of the my Gracious One flood my mind. I'm so in love with him. if i don't write the things he's doing and saying down i'll explode. i have to put words to it and bring him more glory. it seems like the more i walk and follow after Him, the more questions i have. this spot is for me to give voice to these questions, thank him, share what he's saying and whatever else he wants to do.