I don't want chocolate chip...

One of my friends' 4 year old grandson called her the other day and said he was coming to visit her. She told him she would have a cookie for him when he got there. When her grandson showed up she handed him a chocolate chip cookie. He refused it, he wanted a pink-heart shaped one. The little boy was hurt because he was sure his grandma had promised him a pink heart-shaped cookie. "I did promise you a cookie but I didn't say a pink heart-shaped cookie", she told him. When she asked him why he wanted a pink-heart shaped cookie he said "because that one means love". She had to explain to him that the chocolate chip cookie meant she loved him also.

I'm doing the same thing with my Abba. He promised to love me, protect me, speak to me, draw me etc. and now all of the sudden his methods are different and I'm rejecting them. To me, feeling His presence makes me feel loved. Lately, He has felt so far away but a song will come on the radio and express what I cannot say and I burst into tears. That's still telling me He's there, He's listening...but I don't want that way. I read my Bible and nothing pops out like it used to and I'm frustrated that He's not speaking to me. Instead, friends in Christ are speaking truth into my life that is penetrating my heart. I'm such a routine and method person and the Lord so wants it to be about the relationship but I'm struggling with these chocolate chip cookies.